Friday, August 28, 2009

Day Five

No, you haven't missed day's 2, 3 & 4...I have been off working on a class project, forgetting my most important words like Blessings and Gratitude...

Everything I have touched in the past 3 days has worked out in the same unexpected way - nothing accomplished towards my stated goal of getting this project done by today.

So...the question finally occurs to me that if my conscious goals weren't being met, then what was going on? Now I feel the need to digress for a few minutes to set the mood, so to speak. Last Thursday, which I think was the 21st, in the interest of having a place to hang the class project, I had scoped out my old website and found that it was ooopso, a technical term meaning gone, disappeared, wiped off the face of the web. I contacted tech support at my host, and discovered that my domain name had expired, so they had taken it down. I opted to get a clean start with a new name, which I thought to be a step in the right direction.

My host told me where best to obtain a new name, and that site would not load, so I went to another and got a new name. I needed "nameservers" so back to tech support. They gave me two and I inserted them. All went well until I went back to let tech support know that all was in readiness for them to do their magic. It turns out their servers were down! There goes Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's ok, I needed to get a freebie, anyway. I chose what I was going to do, and the site was ready.

On Tuesday I took tutorials 1, 2 & 3, and felt insane. The tutorials were from my host's site, and yet the screens in the tutorials did not match what I had. Calling tech support yielded misinformation, and the intervening days have been much the same. When there have been those squiggly words I needed to enter in order to prove I was a real live person, I couldn't read them and thus was treated like I wasn't a real live person....

All of that aside, and it needs to be aside because I need my sanity, as I was retrieving a second email from Google telling me what to do about the fact that my password to this blog didn't work, I found an email marked "blessings". I was really startled and set the Google email aside to read it. In there was a copy of the prayer request I had turned in on Sunday last (when I wasn't insane), and if I can find it again, I will put it here - because it is so very important - much more important than any class project....

Jeannie G: I am filled with joy and peace of mind minute by minute as I practice forgiveness and gratitude. I accept each and every circumstance in my life as being Divinely inspired for my highest and best good.

Are these not beautiful words? And just where has my peace of mind been? Oh, wait, did I forget to be grateful in all things and circumstances? Did I regard them as Divinely Inspired? Or did I perhaps treat them as tho they were obstacles to be pounded into submission? I think that perhaps that is where my peace of mind and joy flew to. I think that by Monday morning when I awoke with a new medical condition, and was anxious and afraid...I think I had forgotten about that second sentence. I think that as I proceeded thru the week with frustration at the mounting obstacles, I forgot about gratitude and forgiveness, and then wondered where my peace of mind had gone. I remembered about the Law of Attraction, but forgot about the practice of Allowing - if I want good things, pounding into submission, is not a good tactic. Counting my blessings and reframing seeming obstacles into positive lessons yield more peace of mind than does righteous indignation.

Practicing gratitude for all situations is a good preparation for calling tech support - desperation, is not. I think I shall try the gratitude and forgive myself for forgetting what's really important.

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